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| 02:03pm 17/04/2005 |
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blackened_soul4 |
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| 08:05pm 16/04/2005 |
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mood:  creative
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Ok, I think I'm like OCD with my journals or something because I keep having to change them. Maybe it is just to keep up with the chanigng phases of me. Anyway, I will post my name on this when I get my new one and add everyone as my friend.....so sorry.....muah |
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| bored |
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| 01:20pm 13/04/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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You Are From the Sun |
Of all your friends, you're the shining star.
You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight.
You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party.
Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty.
Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!
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Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
You May Be a Bit Borderline ... |
Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute! |
Your Inner European is Irish! |
Sprited and boisterous!
You drink everyone under the table. |
Your Love Style is Agape |
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
You Are a Chihuahua Puppy |
Small, high strung, and loyal.
You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!
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You Are Best Described By... |
Eye
By M.C. Escher
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You Are Best Described By... |
Jeune Fille Vert
By Tamara De Lempicka
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| Happy Birthday-to me |
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| 09:05pm 03/04/2005 |
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mood:  cheerful music: Laura and my Uncle Keith
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I turned 19 today. I don't feel much different. But Mike came over today and gave me a card (he bought my thing for Curves and my trip to CMU) and Then Laura came over. My parents tricked me. It was not so nice. I've been getting phone calls and texts all day. It's nice to be remembered.
So I went to CMU and hung out with Brandy and her friends and it was some good fun. I enjoyed myself. I love it up there and I can't wait to go. I might be going next weekend but I am not sure yet. We'll have to see if I have stuff to do here. I know I have to be home Sunday....now that I'm thinking about it I probably won't go. That makes me sad.
Anyway, I got a printer/copier/scanner do thing, I got Boy Meets World season 2, Sex and the City season 1, and a little Sully figurine thing from my parents. Laura got me a Friends Forever bracelette, a Happy Bunny keychain, a Fairy poster that I wanted, a notebook with my favorite picture on it, and a picture book. It was all good and happy. I'm beginning to think I MIGHT be a little spoiled....I won't think on it too hard. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Well, well, well |
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| 04:05pm 19/03/2005 |
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mood:  irate music: Charlie's Angels
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So I am pretty sick of people. I am giving up on all my friends and on all the people I know. Some little bitch is calling me and bitching me out about her boyfriend. I'm not trying to steal her boyfriend. I may like her boyfriend but I am not going to stoop so low to ruin their lives, even though I could make him happier than her because she is a little bitch and if I meet her I would beat her ass. I am not in a place where people want to mess with me. If they want a war, they can have a war! I am more than willing to fight. I give her credit for standing her ground, but if she keeps fucking with me, her ground is going to break. If I found out that my friends made shit worse for me, things aren't going to be good. I am pissed enough about my life. The last thing I need is for my FRIENDS to help fuck my life up more. But, hey, since they are my friends they get the benefit of the doubt. But I am sick of people and everything. I am better off by myself. I would like to think my life is going to be ok and everything is going to be ok and that things will work out ok, but I'm not sure. The funny thing is, I'm not even sure I like him anymore. I seriously suggest people stay the hell away from me and don't get on my bad side.
I was thinking about staying home this year and not going to CMU at all....but after this I'm pretty sure there is no way to change my mind about going to CMU. I need to get away from these people and all this shit here. I am so sick and tired of high school bull shit....
I'm done with it all |
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| Life is pretty great |
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| 09:45pm 16/03/2005 |
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mood: depressed music: TV Land Awards
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Actually not so much. I feel like I can't depend on anyone anymore. And ya know what maybe life isn't that bad or maybe other people's lives are worse, but I still feel like crap and my emotions are acting up like crazy. I'm not sure if it is my depression, or lack of something, or something else....hell maybe all three.
I was supposed to go to Harbor Beach with Laura this weekend for spring break. But I guess after she invited Christine (which I DEFINATELY didn't mind because I love her to death) I somehow got uninvited. I'm not angry at all, but I'm hurt because I feel like I don't matter to anyone anymore. Maybe it's me-maybe it's real-whatever it is, I feel it and it hurts and makes me sad. I just want to go away. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| hoooo |
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| 06:44pm 16/03/2005 |
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mood:  awake music: Will & Grace
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I feel kinda lonely right now. I feel like no one wants me anymore and I am not happy. Nothing seems ok anymore. I don't know. I just feel like all my friends want nothing to do with me anymore and it makes me sad. I guess that is it. I'm just kinda sad.
But Curves is going really well and I already feel better. I guess that really is it. I don't have much to say anymore. |
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| yeah yeah yeah |
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| 12:15am 12/03/2005 |
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mood: crazy music: Jere, Christine, Laura
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I am at Christine's house and I'm spending the night. Nothing much is really happending at all. I'm kinda worried about some people but whatever. I don't want to go into it. I just wanted to update. So I guess that's it for now. Peace. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Whoa |
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| 05:48pm 22/02/2005 |
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mood: frustrated
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Ok, so much is going on right now and it is just all so not good. Ok, so I'll start from the beginning. Jere and I broke up and then I went into my crazy phase. Then things at home aren't good because I'm stupid and I like to make my life difficult. So for this week I am living at Laura's house. I met this guy Matt and I like him a lot, but he has a girlfriend. My car broke AGAIN. And the thing with that is that it is the same problem that I JUST fixed. So that isn't cool. I also have this huge decision that I have to make that I don't really want to because I have so much going on as it is. Brandy-go on to our page and I'll tell you what it is. I feel like I have no friends and the ones I do have think I am pushing them away-which I'm not. Nothing is good right now and I just want my life to be ok again and I'm not sure when/if that is going to happen. ::sighs:: I suppose that is it. Maybe I'll update later.... |
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| 02:58pm 17/02/2005 |
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mood: chipper music: college kids
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I'm so sick of people just like doing whatever the fuck they think is ok. Do people like pissing me off and wanting to write them off from my life? Honestly I don't think many people want that. But, whatever. Their choice I guess. Whatever is best for them.
I miss Jere, I do. So much actually. I just feel like I don't know him and that I haven't for a long time. But I feel pain because I think things are bad between us and I want us to be ok. I was in pain and I still am. But I can't erase him-no matter how much pain I'm in. I just am moving on and if God wants us together then maybe, but probably not. It makes me sad that we've become so different in a couple of months. Shit happens.
I've actually been very happy lately. Things are good. Dave took me out for dinner on Valentine's Day. BUT IT WASN'T A DATE!!!! We're just friends. It's nice to have someone to talk to and be there for me....and understand me, or at least try to. I had a lot of fun though!
The only thing wrong is that me and my mom had another fight and I think I need to move out for a little while. We'll see. I don't want to ruin our relationship. That would be bad!! I love her too much to let something happen and we're not ok. We'll see.
I'm going to be a jewelry seller person thing. I'll be owning my own business pretty much and I can do whatever I want. I plan on quitting Cracker Barrel tomorrow. Good stuff.
Also I kind of feel not good enough. No man has ever wanted me, or to keep me, or if they do then there is always someone better. My heart hurts.
I'm waiting for Laura to get out of class right now. So, I guess that is it! |
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purring_tiger44's journal